Chuck vs Starting Over
by Chuckme1983
Summary: What if the Norseman device actually killed Sarah? This is a Chuck time-travel story. This is a re-write of my first story.


**This is a re-write of my first story. I've changed the point he goes back in time. Instead of it being the day after Bryce sent him the intersect, he'll be coming back when he's still at Stanford. This story will be about Chuck's journey, finding Sarah, and getting her to fall in love with him again. Chuck will be very dark in this chapter, you've been warned.**

**The basis of this story came to me a while ago and I finally had the courage to post it after the series finale. A review I received made me do a complete re-write, so thanks for all the wonderful feedback. What if the Norseman device actually succeeded in killing Sarah? If you haven't watched up to Chuck vs. the Last Details then this story may spoil a few things for you. All mistakes are my own. Also, I don't own Chuck, if I did it would have never ended.**

Chuck vs. Starting Over

Chapter 1: The Worst Day of His Life

**May 16, 2011**

It should have been the happiest time of Chuck's life, instead he's at Sarah's funeral, pondering how soon he could die. He couldn't commit suicide but perishing in retribution for her death, would be a fitting end to such a tragic love story. It would devastate Ellie, Morgan, Devon, and even Casey to an extent. He just hoped they'd understand, existing without the other half of his soul was an unbearable prospect. Nothing in the world could be more agonizing then that.

Chuck and Sarah had their whole lives ahead of them, until she was taken away from him by Vivian McArthur and the Norseman device. He underestimated her wrath for vengeance, which she directed at his heart and tore it out of his chest. Chuck couldn't fathom a life without Sarah. All the plans and experiences they would've had disappeared the night she died. They'd never go on another date, never kiss again, and never spend a lazy day in bed together. What did he have too look forward to now?

Death seemed like a welcomed respite from the constant pain and anguish. All his thoughts centered on Sarah and how things could have ended so horribly. He was the one who was suppose to protect her from harm. There's nothing he could do about it now except regret his decision to download the intersect 2.0. Without it, they would have been free from the governments control and the events leading up to Sarah's death could have been avoided altogether. In another life, maybe.

It was a cloudy day corresponding with the somber event. Chuck looked inconsolable taking a seat between Ellie and Morgan. The ground beside her coffin has been dug-up recently, ready to be her final resting place. Taking it all in, he can't believe this is actually happening. They try to console him; to get him through the greatest tragedy he's ever known. It won't be enough to bring him back from oblivion. He couldn't be saved, not from this. Life would never be the same for Chuck Bartowski.

The service is a quiet affair with only those closest too her in attendance. That was Sarah's final request, which she wrote in her spy will. She updated it after getting engaged to Chuck. The first couple of days after her death he couldn't bring himself to read Sarah's final words to him. It would make it all too real and he didn't know if he could handle the emotions associated with the letter. In all honesty he was catatonic and hadn't left his bedroom in days, not until Ellie got him presentable for the funeral. He hadn't really eaten anything or slept more then an hour at a time since Sarah was murdered. When he closed his eyes all he saw was her death replaying over and over again. Getting ready for her funeral to begin, he remembered finally finding the courage to read her spy will.

_Chuck, _

_ If you're reading this then it means I am dead. A love like ours is not something everyone gets to experience in their lifetime. To have it even for a short amount of time, is the greatest gift you could have ever given me. I never thought I would find someone who could change me so drastically. But I did, you made me a better person and taught me so much about love. You are my home Chuck, whenever we're apart I'm not whole. Just know I never wanted it to end like this. You feel everything deeply, but I want you to enjoy life when I'm gone, knowing this is the only thing that will bring me peace._

_Please be safe when I'm gone, since I won't be there to protect you from the uglier side of spying. Casey will be your greatest weapon against anyone wishing you harm. Stay close to him, I trust him more then anyone else, except for you of course. He became a great friend and somebody I could count on._

_You had plans for our future and I'm sorry I'll miss them all. The big family wedding we had planned, the honeymoon in Hawaii, buying a house with a white-picket fence, and having children who have your sense of humor and my fierceness. Your love for me transcends time. You have the biggest heart I've ever known, I'll only ask one thing of you. Please mourn my passing but continue looking for things that can make you happy. I know this will be a monumental task to accomplish. If the roles were reversed I don't think I could survive without you._

_Onto my funeral, I want a simple ceremony with only our friends and family there. Ellie, Devon, Morgan, Casey, and Alex. I consider all of them to be our family, albeit a little unusual. You have them to keep you going when I'm gone. I don't want you to be alone in this, so don't disconnect from them. _

_If at all possible get a hold of my father and let him know that I loved him. Tell all of our friends and family that they made my life better just by being in it. You will always have my heart so don't waste it by being miserable, be happy with the time we had. You are a gift Chuck, one I had, and one the world needs to see. Know that I cherished every moment we spent together. If you go to our special place, I'll be there. In the sand, in the waves, and in the sun, wrapping you in my warm embrace forever._

_Love, _

_ Sarah Walker soon to be Sarah Bartowski_

Chuck couldn't believe the things she asked of him. It was ridiculous to think he could have any semblance of a life without her. He recalled reading it a dozen times as he cried myself to sleep that night. Coming back to the present Morgan and Devon have already told everyone what Sarah meant to them. All the wonderful and touching moments they shared with her. Morgan and Devon didn't know her as deeply as some, but were just as devastated by her passing.

Casey stands next and is unable to find the words that could adequately describe his feelings for her. He's lost numerous partners in the past but this is different. Working so closely with someone for over three years will have that affect on a person. After composing himself, he starts telling them about the time Sarah caught him with his pants off and being handcuffed to a bed. "So, I ask her for help, all she does is take out a camera phone and starts snapping photos of me with her phone, cuffed to the bed," he said, with tears in his eyes. Casey's not an emotional guy, this shows the impact she had on his life. It shocked most of the people in attendance watching his display. She was important to him, hell she saved his life on numerous occasions. Casey wipes his eyes and continues. "She had a very strong personality and we worked well together. We would poke fun at each other from time to time," he said, remembering the good times they had together. Him ribbing her about her feelings for Chuck and her making him look foolish whenever she could.

"How could I not care for her, she had a fierce determination and loyalty that I admired. I'll miss her everyday and I hope she knew what she meant to me. She was a true friend. Nobody could ever take her place and it would be pointless to try," he finished, going back to his seat. Everyone there is crying at this point. You could understand the impact Sarah's death would have on all of them.

Ellie finds herself standing in front of the mourners, telling everyone her fondest memories of Sarah. They became sisters and the loss of that relationship would be profound. Sarah became Ellie's trusted confidant and someone she shared secrets with. "I'll miss you little sister. Our time together is something I'll cherish till I die. I can't put into words the love I held for you. And I will honor your memory everyday," once she's done, Ellie takes the empty seat beside her brother.

Chuck's the only one who hasn't gotten up there yet. It's up to him to deliver Sarah's eulogy but he's frozen in place. Hearing all of the wonderful things his friends and family have said about her, cause him to realize there won't be another memory of her ever again. This takes him to a dark place - a place without light or meaning. All of it hits him as he tries to stand but is unable to.

Ellie wraps a protective arm around his shoulder trying to reassure him. "I wish I could take away all the pain you're feeling right now. It will get better just give it time," she said concernedly.

Time was something he didn't have or want without Sarah. Ellie's the only thing keeping him from going off the deep end. He's grateful for all that she's done for him, not just now but throughout his life. "I know Ellie your the greatest sister a brother could ever ask for," he said, trying to find the courage to do this for Sarah. Its the only thing he could give her now.

"Do you want to go up there little brother?" she questioned.

Chuck is sobbing and he can't stop the tears from flowing. "I don't know... if I can, every time I think about her I want to die. It feels like there's a giant-hole where my heart use to be. Its gone and it's never coming back Ellie." Chuck answered truthfully.

Ellie knows how to get him up there, she knows he'd regret not saying goodbye to Sarah. "She'd want the most important person in her life to say something, so be the man she fell in love with one more time," she said patiently. While he's making the decision, Chuck recalls the night his life changed forever.

**May 9, 2011**

Its Chuck and Sarah's rehearsal dinner, their friends and family are all in attendance. The courtyard had a romantic ambiance that reflected the mood. With the twinkle lights shinning down on all the guest's everything was perfect. It was probably the happiest day of either of their lives. As the montage of their life plays on the screen, they look to one another and know it was destiny that brought them together. Their happiest occasion was about to turn into the worst day of Chuck's life.

He couldn't believe she wanted to spend the rest of her life with a nerd like him. Without her he was just a nerd-herder making $11.50 an hour, with her he could be anything. She made all his dreams come true just by being there for him. Chuck gazed across the room and met the soulful blue eyes of his fiancée. Whenever this happened time seemed to stand still and nothing existed but them. His soon to be wife had a lustful expression on her face, which he found irresistible. Both of them couldn't wait for the night to end so they could be alone, one last time before she became Sarah Bartowski. This instance and every single one leading up to it was a culmination of their love for one another.

Then their fairytale turned into horror story with one phone call from Vivian McArthur. He thought his mother was the target of Vivian's attack, how wrong he was about the intended victim. The conversation that not only ended Sarah's life, but Chuck's as well. You couldn't end one without ending the other. There was no Chuck without Sarah.

He moved toward Mary thinking she was about to die, until Sarah started clutching her head. She stumbled slightly with blood pouring out of her ears. The Norseman began affecting her almost immediately. It hit him that his future wife was going to die right in front of him and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. There was no cure; no hope of saving her. Chuck caught her before she hit the cement and placed her gently in his lap. He shouted to the heavens for a miracle, a miracle that would never come.

"Please Sarah, stay with me!" he yelled, as Ellie, Devon, Morgan, and Casey circled them. He knew it was only a matter of time before she died. "You can fight this, don't leave me baby. I love you too much to lose you like this," Chuck whispered into her ear.

She was fighting with all her strength to defeat the Norseman device, as she clutched his hands with all of her strength. Sarah was barley hanging on at this point, but he could tell she wanted to say something to him. "Chuck...don't freak out," Sarah said choking on blood.

"Conserve your energy baby, we'll get through this, we always do," he told her using a comforting tone. Even with Devon and Ellie working on Sarah, there's nothing they can do to save her. They both shake their heads to confirm his suspicions, she wasn't going to survive. Breathing was becoming difficult at this point. They both know the end was approaching.

With her last few minutes, she gets to the point. "I know this is the end Chuck and I'm okay with it," she said with tears in her eyes, mirroring Chuck's.

"Please Sarah don't say that, I don't want this to be goodbye."

"Listen I will never regret any time I have had with you Chuck. It's been the happiest time of my entire life. I will see you again, so no goodbyes because our love can't die," she said with conviction. He had no idea what to say, so he holds her close and kisses her cheek. There's nothing left but their devotion for each other. In unison they say 'Forever' as she closes her eyes for the final time. Her death was painful and swift causing something to break inside Chuck.

The pain from watching his fiancée die was too much for him. He yelled at the top of his lungs, as he clung onto Sarah's lifeless body. "NO! NO! NO! SARAH!" he screamed, not having any idea how much time passed. Devon and Casey had to pry him away from her when the paramedics arrived. This would be the last time he would ever touch her and it annihilated him. Seconds later Chuck passed out from the emotional overload. He couldn't process the event properly so he just checked out.

He woke up screaming for Sarah two hours later thinking it had to be a nightmare. Everything good in his life always ended badly. Why would this be any different? After remembering what happened earlier Chuck realized he would never gaze upon her again. That is when Ellie comes into his bedroom looking concerned and sits down beside him. "She's really dead isn't she?" he said, already knowing the answer to his question.

"Yes she is and it will be felt by all of us Chuck," she responded. Ellie was there after he got expelled from Stanford and dumped by Jill. This was going to be a million times worse. She didn't understand how he was going to survive this. Nothing was bringing her baby brother back to her. "Hold onto all the wonderful memories of Sarah that is how you will honor her," he hears, before passing out into oblivion once again.

**May 16, 2011**

He finds the courage and words he needs in order to get through this. Standing in front of everyone and reminiscing about Sarah was difficult. Those were suppose to be his and his alone. But he needed them to survive when he was gone. After today all he possessed was revenge. "She was the light in my darkest times. When I got up every morning she was there to guide me, comfort me, and shelter me. Sarah was the best thing about my life. Just knowing her was enough for me, but she came to love me," Chuck said with admiration for the women he would always need, in this life or the next. He doesn't think he could go on, then what his sister said after Sarah's death registers with him. Thoughts of her was all had left.

He speaks about their first meeting, their first date, and the instant he fell in love with her. After five minutes everyone's weeping, hearing Chuck's feelings for his fiancée was heart-breaking to watch. He knew her better then anyone did else, talking about Sarah was like breathing to him. "She was my soul-mate. The one I turned too." It's getting difficult to talk through the grief, but he continues. "There won't be a single day that goes by that I won't miss her. She's my heart and always will be," he finished sorrowfully.

With the funeral service over everyone leaves except for Chuck, he stays behind to say his final farewell to Sarah. This would be the last time he would be this close to her ever again. He wouldn't be back here again and couldn't wait to leave behind all of the agony. Its like a weight had been lifted when he committed to enacting his plan a few days ago. He just prayed she'd forgive him for not respecting her wishes. There was no existence he wanted without her. So, he talks of his intentions and how much he loved her, would always love her. With that he departs and walks toward Devon and Ellie's car, where they've been waiting.

Devon drives to them home while Ellie tries to engage Chuck in conversation. He doesn't respond because he doesn't have the energy to care anymore. When they arrive at the apartment complex he thanks them for all of their help and support. They hug him and tell him they'll be stopping by later to check on him. Ellie's distressed about his state-of-mind and didn't know what he was thinking, which was rare. They were closer than most brothers and sisters, so not knowing his intentions frightened her. She was always a worrier but this time it was justified.

He enters the residence he use to share with Sarah. Everything about it reminds him of Sarah, her scent still clung in the air and evidence of her presence surrounds him. Seeing all the mementos of their time together is difficult to bare, so he goes straight to the bedroom and plots his revenge. Every detail must be perfect and precise for it to succeed. He writes letters to Ellie, Devon, Morgan, and Casey expressing what they meant to him. They will find them on his dresser, after he leaves on his suicide mission.

Chuck can't raise suspicions by being too hasty. Since Sarah's passing his family and friends have been checking on him constantly, make sure he's okay. That will only give him a half day lead if Casey decides to go after him.

Using his level-six clearance, he found Vivian's base of operations easily. She wasn't in hiding which was brazen and would be her down-fall. Chuck didn't understand how she didn't expect retaliation for Sarah's death. Maybe she thought he wasn't capable of hurting anyone. That was when he had his fiancée by his side, now there's no telling what he might do. All he had to do was wait for his opportunity to slip away, and confront the person who destroyed his life.

**May 30, 2011 **

Chuck made it to Moscow by taking a flight from LAX to the Sheremetyevo Airport, which was a grueling eleven-hour flight. This is where all the intel said Vivian was. He paid for the ticket with cash and used one of his fake passports. He couldn't take a chance that Casey or the CIA were monitoring his activity. By the time he cleared customs his family would realized he was missing, but it'd be to late.

Leaving Sheremetevo Airport, he wanders the city with no destination in mind. That's when Chuck stumbles across a low-level black-market gun dealer, by flashing on him crossing the street. This was the final piece of the puzzle. Approaching such a dangerous man should have given Chuck pause, but it didn't. Losing the love of his life made him reckless. The transaction went smoothly as he follows the dealer to his car. In the trunk was a cash of illegal firearms and even some grenades. He decides on a Walther P99 with two clips of ammo, for three-hundred U.S. dollars. He couldn't take the chance of Vivian capturing him, that's why he needed the weapon.

After purchasing the weapon Chuck decides to do some reconnaissance on his target. He sets-up across the street in a dingy hotel-room. Its smells of vodka and cigarettes, which complements the stained carpet perfectly. The only reason he rented it was for the perfect unobstructed view of Vivian's lair. With binoculars in hand, he finally spots her entering the building a couple of hours later. Seeing her go about her business makes him furious. If she was in front of him right now he might kill her. He knows his prey is inside so he exits the hotel, ready to confront her.

Taking a steading breath he enters the building, firing a few shots into the ceiling, causing a panic. "Vivian get out her now!" he screamed, as people start running from him. He puts his weapon in away, wanting to save it for the person who deserved a bullet. That's when Vivian's men surround him and try to get him to surrender. A minute later all of them are incapacitated from Chuck's vicious attack. He put them down without a second of remorse. Once the lobby is cleared, he methodically picks off anyone who gets in his way.

Watching on a computer monitor in her office she watches Chuck tearing through her men like they were amateur operatives. She can't comprehend how this is the same man she met months earlier. There's no emotion on his face but hatred and it's all directed at her. Miscalculating his desire for revenge is a mistake she'll pay for dearly. Reckoning was on the way in the form of Chuck Bartowski.

Chuck sneaks down a hall and spies three men guarding a heavy-oak door. She has to be behind it, so Chuck flashes on kung-fu, punishing them for Vivian's actions. He picks up one of the guards limp body and uses it as a battering ram. It doesn't give at first but finally gives way after the sixth try. He enters the room with his gun drawn, dropping the guards body on the floor. Looking around the room he counts four more henchmen and Vivian behind her desk. He could easily take them out if he wanted to but that would defeat the purpose of his visit.

"Good to see you again. How did you like my wedding gift?" she said vehemently. Using anger to hide her fear for the person before her. She broke him and now she'd pay for murdering Sarah.

"You took everything from me! I want you to feel my pain!" he screamed, bringing his gun up to fire. Killing her won't bring his fiancée back but hurting her would serve as a constant reminder of what she did. She didn't deserve his compassion, he still had a conscious, which is the only reason she was still breathing. Chuck couldn't kill a woman even though she took away his reason for living. He knows he'll only have one shot before her men fire upon him.

"This is for Sarah," he uttered, as he pulled the trigger, surprising everyone in the room. The bullet tears through her ear taking it clean-off. The blood spurting from where it use to be gives Chuck enjoyment. He has a smile on his face knowing they'll have no choice but to end his misery.

"Ow! Oh shit! Shoot him!" Vivian screamed for her men to follow her order. Looking in the mirror everyday will show her the error of her ways.

Sarah would be proud he had the restraint not to end her miserable existence. Maybe the CIA and NSA would be do something about her after he was gone. Taking the intersect away from them isn't something they'd get over easily.

Chuck's recalls all of the marvelous times he had with Sarah. It all comes to him in his final seconds of life. This is the happiest he's been since her death, as the bullet splatters his brain on the wall, killing him before he hits the ground. Everything goes dark and the pain of the past few weeks has come to an end. It was all over for him or was it?

**?**

Chuck wakes in bed groggy and disoriented. At first he thinks he's been captured by Vivian and is still in Moscow. He yelled hoping this couldn't be happening to him. All he wanted to do was be reunited with Sarah. That's until he looks around the room and recognizes it. His Tron poster hangs on the wall. And a desk he use to do his coursework on sits across the room. He's in the dorm-room at Stanford he use to share with Bryce. His mind can't comprehend how he ended up here. Was Sarah just a figment of his imagination? He didn't think so, no dream or nightmare could be that realistic.

If his Star Wars calendar was correct the date was June 13, 2001. The last day of his Sophomore finals and the official start of summer break was approaching. Today he'd take his Calculus final and tomorrow he would be leaving for Cambridge, Massachusetts. That's where she'd be, he remembered her telling him a story about her college experiences at Harvard. Faith was all he had and he'd go to the ends of earth for her. He didn't care what version of Sarah he found, as long as she still existed.

Time-travel seemed like the only possible explanation he could come up with. He didn't care how it happened, all that mattered was getting her to fall in love with him again. In any time-line they belonged together and Chuck would prove it. Seeing her again will be the only thing to mend his broken-heart and make him forget the past three weeks.

**A/N: So this is the new and improved Chuck vs. Starting Over. I wanted to create my own original story without having to stick to cannon. What do you think? Please review, it makes me a better story teller.**

**This story will probably only get updated every other week because Stranger than Fiction is my main concern right now. I try to update that at least once a week, which will cause one to take the back burner for a while. **

**FYI writing this chapter was a blast. Especially the scene where Vivian gets her just desserts. I think Chuck on the show should have made her pay for almost killing Sarah. That's my opinion. I actually love Lauren Cohan as an actress, just not as a villain. She rocks on The Walking Dead. Thank you. I'll be back with another update in about two weeks.**


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